The other day I got the question that nailed it, and I chose to share it with you: Why do some people have to go through those horrible things in life? Is it their karma?
Well, I can’t give you the ultimate answer. All I can do is to share the experiences of my clients (and of course some of mine).
First, it is easy to think that the people who have been abused must have done something terrible in their previous lives (if you believe in that) and that is their punishment.
In that form, it is not true.
The most common reasons that my clients shared with me were:
1. Trying to help others
If you know Teal Swan and her story then this becomes obvious.
She went through hell literally in a satanic sect. She broke out and became the Teal Swan we know today. It had a high toll on her, but she paid that price to help thousands of people.
There are souls (and we are speaking of highly advanced souls, healers, teachers) who voluntarily decide to have that kind of experience to be able to help others who go through the same.
They need to be able to relate to those experiences; they need to develop their own “antidote” so to speak, to give it to others, to light and show the way.
So instead of shrugging it off with “karma,” we should be grateful and appreciative.
2. Trying to save others – past life relationship with the abuser
That is what empaths often do; they try to rescue others with whom they had some ties in the past.
Rebecca (not her real name) had a very abusive mother. They made each other’s lives unbearable. In hypnosis suddenly she realized, it was she who chose that mother. She knew that that woman was unable to love, or at least her ability to feel love was very underdeveloped.
They had a long history of past lives (we are not judging here, in hypnotherapy we take the experiences of the client valid and real because that is what they have to deal with). Rebecca felt how the crippled soul of her mother suffered, and she decided to save her mother from herself.
In her present life, Rebecca was furious. She didn’t understand why she had to suffer all her life. She felt helpless and out of control.
With the insight, she got about her mother, about the suffering that soul went through, Rebecca got back her control. It was no longer about her mother; it was about her.
Her lesson was: she could help only as much as the other allowed her.
3. Lack of responsibility for one’s energy
What that means is that many people don’t want to or are afraid to take responsibility for their lives so others might use them for their purposes.
Kathy had several lives where she preferred others to make the decisions for her.
She is a charming and kind person but her fear of making the wrong decisions lead her trusting others too much. Those people started to control her and without her knowing, her actions lead to deaths and suffering. That caused her to distrust her feelings and energies further, so she got into a spiral with less and less control.
In this life, she suffered abuse and followed the same patterns she did in her previous lives unable to break the circle.
Now she is learning to take responsibility for her energy and instead of being afraid of it and of her decisions she is starting to act upon her intuition.
Her lesson: she mustn’t put the responsibility for her energy on others.
4. Lack of awareness
Not knowing does not save us from the consequences. Many people are just unaware of their own basic emotional needs. They don’t understand how their mind reacts when those needs are chronically unmet.
Thus, they become vulnerable and perfect prey for abuse by narcissistic or other predatory people.
These people need to learn to meet their own needs and not depend on others to give it to them.
As soon as they do that, they will be able to create harmonious and nurturing relationships.
Jill was a people pleaser. She did everything to get the love she was unable to give herself. Jill always needed feedback and had issues with jealousy. She thought if she gave all, she would get all.
Instead, she was neglected, disrespected, used and abused. She needed to learn that it was not her partner, but she – reflected in her partner. When she realized that her partner mirrored her, she started to become aware of her own needs and how she could learn to meet them and stop her neglecting and abusive relationship with herself.
5. Self-punishment and self-hatred
Souls who did something wrong in their past lives and carry their guilt, sometimes with self-hatred may feel that they deserve to go through some things to “settle the bill.”
Those are misconceptions in most of the cases.
People like that need to learn to forgive themselves and learn from their mistakes instead of giving themselves a life-sentence.
6. Experience the other side of one’s deeds – karmic experience
That is what people refer to as karma most of the time. That is when a soul causes suffering, unable to feel what the victim is going through.
All actions have two sides. One is the active part: you slap someone in the face for example.
The other is the passive part: being slapped in the face.
They seem like two different things when energetically speaking it is the same action, the same thing.
When you created the experience of slapping someone in the face you also created the experience of being hit in the face with all its pain and humiliation.
The soul will not necessarily experience the passive side of the action in what we call a physical form, but that doesn’t make a difference. It will suffer the wholeness of it and learn from it this way or the other.
There can be many other reasons, but these are the six, which I have encountered with my clients.
I hope that helped to get a broader perspective of the issue.